SUNDAY SCHOOL LESSON, FEBRUARY 14, TOPIC - HUSBAND-WIVES RELATIONSHIP

SUNDAY SCHOOL LESSON,TOPIC -   HUSBAND-WIVES RELATIONSHIP 

Memory verse: Ephesians 5:33 

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as  himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband (KJV) 

TEXT - 1 CORINTHIANS 7 V 1-5, EPHESIANS 5 V 21 - 33, 1 PETER 3 V 1-6

Central truth 

Mutual love and respect are essential for fulfillment in marriage. 

The lesson outline 

1. Show love consideration 

A. Safeguard against immorality 

B. Practical love 

2. Submit one to another 

A. God’s principle  

B. Source of inner beauty 

3. Follow Christ’s pattern 

A. Lover makes it easier 

B. Advantage of mutual consideration 

Teaching goals

1. Impart and reinforce knowledge: emphasis to students the need for  mutual consideration between each partner in the marriage in  fulfilling their roles. 

2. Influence attitudes: help your students to understand that partners  are to fulfil their roles out of love for each other  

3. Influence behaviour: encourage students to commit to accomplish  God’s directives of marriage to ensure a strong marriage  relationship. 

Introducing the lesson 

Marriage may be made in heaven but they are maintained on earth.  Anyone married for a while know this to be true. But in order to maintain  our marriages, we need to understand and apply principle on which to  build them. 

A marriage counsellor once said, “There is no perfect marriage because there are no perfect people”. While this may be true, we all can  work toward having better marriages. But it requires the cooperation of  both partners. 

In this week’s lesson we will look at some scriptural principles that  can help make marriage better. We must recognise these principles as  part of God’s inspired word. As such, we need to diligently apply them.  To circumvent any of these principles greatly decreases the chance of  having a strong marriage relationship. 

Commentary and Application 

1. Show Loving Consideration 

A. Safeguard against Immorality 

 

God’s plan in marriage is for each partner to mature and become  closer to each other with each passing year. Sadly, far too many  marriages fall short Of this goal. If a marriage relationship is to reach its  full potential, it is because both partners have faithfully fulfilled their God 

given roles. 

Some of the Corinthian believers did not realise the importance of the  Marriage relationship. Instead of promoting loving consideration in  marital Relations, they were condoning celibacy within the marriage Paul  wanted these believers to understand that God had designed a  safeguard in the marriage relationship against immorality. But in for the  safeguard to work there must be mutual consideration between each  partner in marriage. 

B. practical Love 

Consideration is to be display not only in physical intimacy, but also in  other areas of the marriage relationship. In Paul dealt with three key  elements that are necessary to achieve mutual level satisfaction and  fulfilment in marriage Paul did not intend these three components to be  seen as mere duty. Rather both Partners are to fulfil their roles out to  love each other. In doing this, they will be sensitive to each other  feelings and needs. 

According to Paul, loving consideration for one’s mate is  demonstrated in three key areas:  

The first area is providing for the physical and emotional needs of  one’s Spouse each spouse has needs that can only be met by other Partner, it is the height of selfishness for one person to only be  concerned with his or her own needs.

 The second area is relinquishing control over one’s own body. This  refers to exercise of authority. When this principle is practiced, it  eliminates self ownership which causes individuals to seek personal  satisfaction. It also prevents one partner from being unduly under  subjection to the other. 

The third manifestation of loving consideration is not depriving one  another for intimacy. For one another to be celibate is defrauding the  other mate of rightfully belong to him or her. However, Paul did make an  allowance for temporary abstinence. This was to only be by mutual  agreement, for a specific purpose, and only for a limited time. 

It should be noted that Paul did not even remotely suggest that the  duty of either partner should be carried out at the expense of the other.  Paul was placing both partners on equal level. The quality was usual in  male-dominates society. More importantly, he was stressing giving  instead of getting. In a happy marriage each partner gives to the other.  When one partner strives to fulfil these three duties, that person will also  find the highest degree of satisfaction and fulfilment. 

Every couple can benefit by observing these principle set forth by  Paul. Showing Loving consideration for one’s mate is not limited only to the sexual side of marriage. 

It needs to be demonstrated in every part of the marriage relationship. 

Question for Application  

In what other area can a couple shows their consideration for each  other? 

In many families today both husband and wife work outside the home.  This means that the duties that the wife would normally do can be 

shared by both spouses. Both spouses also need to be actively involved  in child rearing, which include spiritual training. 

The motivation behind our efforts is important. If we do any of the  things out of mere obligation and duty, we might otherwise expect.  Rather, we must seek to please our mates and meet their needs out of  love. 

2. Submit One To Another 

A. God’s Principle 

The word submission causes many to bristle. They do not want to  submit to anyone .But our whole society is built on principle of  submission .The same is especially true In the Church. 

Sometimes Paul’s teaching in this passage of Scripture has been  incorrectly applied to justify one person in a marriage relationship  dominating the other person. But as we take a close look, we discover a  far different and more positive Meaning. 

In Ephesians 5:21 Paul instructed the Ephesians believers to submit  themselves to one another. To submit means that we are willing to serve  rather than exalting ourselves over others. Paul applied this concept to  marriage 

The wife is directed to submit herself to her husband “as unto the  Lord”. This phrase does not mean that she views her husband in the  same light as she does the Lord .it means that bringing herself under  submission is view as service to the Lord. 

 The submission is based on the structure that God has given for the  marriage relationship God has made the husband the head of his wife  just as Christ has been made the head over the Church.

It is important to note in the comparison that the church, of which  Christ is the head, is also called His body. This analogy gives the  husband the responsibility of being the protectorate and the provider for  his own wife who has been made one flesh with him. 

The wife’s responsibility is to be submissive to her husband as the  Church is to Christ. Submission does not mean inferiority in any way. it  simply means that she recognizes him as the head and responds  accordingly. 

Question and Application 

Because a man is the head of his home, does this means that he is in  charge of all business affairs and decisions?  

The husband, as head of the house, is ultimately responsible for the  home. However, this does mean he must be the one to actually do  everything. For example, take the area of finances. Some man is not  good bookkeepers and money managers. As head of his home, a  husband is to see that the best-qualified person handles the finances.  One young husband said,” The best act of stewardship I have ever  committed was when I gave my wife the cheque book” 

 The “in everything” of verse 24 does not include sinful activity as  some has taught. When an unsaved husband asks his wife his to  participate in activities contrary to God’s word, a higher law comes to  effect. That law is obedience to Christ and his word. 

B. Source of Inner Beauty 

There are other benefits to the wife’s being in submission. God can

Use the inner beauty of a submissive wife as method by which an  unbelieving husband can be won to the Lord. 

Peter did not suggest that a woman should not fix her hair, or wear  jewellery or nice clothes. Rather she should not think of her physical  beauty as the source of the true beauty. The real beauty of a Christian  woman comes from the” meek and quiet spirit” which is valuable to God. 

In verses 5 and 6, peter drew on Jewish history to demonstrate that  purity of life and submissive spirit has always been the godly women’s  beauty secret. It’s this inner beauty that is a force in winning the unsaved  mate. 

3. Follow Christ’s Pattern 

A. Love Makes It Easier 

When we look at God’s directives for marriage, we realise that they will  require constant work in order to accomplish them .Paul wrote some  requirements for the wife, he also issued some for the husband. 

In Ephesians 5:25, Paul wrote that the husband is to love his wife with  the same type of love that Christ had for the church. This love was so  selfless that Christ died the Church. Thus the true measure of a  husband’s love for his wife is based on how concerned he is for her  needs, well-being, and safety.  

The manifestation of Christ love for his Church is result in its  sanctification and holiness. The Church in its glory to Christ. In its glory  is same way, when a husband loves his wife, she in turn brings honour  to him as a husband. 

When God ask the woman to submit to her husband, He wasn’t even  hinting that a husband may dominate his wife or treat her as a slave.  Rather the couple is to develop a relationship that exhibits submission 

on her part and love his. This arrangement will cause them to  experience a glorious partnership with each other. 

In verses 28-30 Paul once again drew upon the analogy of Christ  and His Church. He stressed that the husband should loves his own  body. This love one’s body is not an egotistical, conceited love, but a  love that stems from the inner desire for health and survival. A husband  cares for his body even though it is not perfect. By the same token he is  to care for his wife and genuinely seek to meet her needs- physical,  emotionally, and spiritually. 

In order to show the importance of love, Paul referred to God’s  original intent for marriage. We may not understand everything  concerning this analogy, but this is God’s plan. 

In verse 33, Paul concludes his directives for good husband-wife  relationships. He simply restated his premise. Husbands are to love their  wives. Wives are to respond with honours for their husbands. 

B. Advantage of Mutual Consideration 

Peter, like Paul, did not focus just on wives in his letter, he included  husbands as well. Peter began his instruction to husbands, by writing  “Likewise, ye husband” This phrase does not refers to the husband  being under subjection to his wife responsible to do everything in her  power to promote a spiritual atmosphere in the home, so is the husband.  A husband who fails to carry out his God giving responsibilities as the  head of the house can do a lot of damage to the spiritual life of a home  

Peter further instructed the husband to live with his wife according to  knowledge this phrase not only refer to the physical act of marriage but  indicate that the husband is to be considerate in every area of their lives  together.

This consideration will show up in a variety of ways depending on the  couple and their unique need these act of consideration could be called  love act something one partner does for the other out of love for him or  her it may be something 

as a simple as a husband being sure that there is always fuel in the car  when his wife get ready to use it to the husband it to the husband it may  mean having 30 minutes of quiet relaxation after he Arrives home from  work. 

The husband is to remember that the woman is the “weaker vessel.”  This is in no way derogatory. God has created man to be physically  stronger. As such, he is to respect his wife in every way. 

The husband must remember that his wife is equal with him spiritually in this life and in the life to come. Even now, men and women  experience equally the grace of God. 

Question for Application 

Why is it important for the husband to be considerate of and honour his  wife? A failure on the part of the husband of fulfill his responsibility can  have a negative effect on his prayer life. Husbands must remember that  being selfish and egotistical in their relationships with their wives can  result in hindering their own relationship with God.  

Call to Discipleship 

The relationship between husband and wife id intended to get better  with every passing year. However, little things can slip into rh  relationship. And when they are not handled properly, they can cause a  separation between the marriage partners that may widen as years pass  by.

Over the years a lot of jokes have been made about marriage. But the  marriage relationship is no joking matter. God takes marriage seriously.  This is why He has given us principles by which to strengthen our  marriages. 

The principles we have studied today go against the trends of modern  society. It is easy to say that the scripture passages were written for  another time and audience but as believers, we have an obligation to  obey God’s word. Do not look for ways to circumvent these principles,  but find ways to apply them to your marriage in order to renew the life  and joy that God desires you to have in your marriages. 

Ministry in Action 

Conclude with a time of prayer. Ask God to help your students to allow  the principles of His Word to guide their marriages.